What Men Really Want in Today’s Relationships

Stereotypes loom, bitterness surfaces and the assumptions are always there about what men want. It confuses the heartbroken and misleads the overly giddy, however, if you want to know what MEN want (not just a male) then read forward.

Let me begin by saying that its confusing at times for women to figure it out because often men are trying to please the woman to a degree that he agrees more than he should and then when he starts to realize he lost his opinion, he comes back to his own and then the two conflicting responses throws you off. In those particular instances, one must never pressure another to give the answer one seeks. One should always want an honest answer, even when it isn’t favorable to you.

In today’s day the man of modern times tries less and the media plays a huge roll in that. The reason being is that in almost every show there is the notion that women are empowered by their own sexuality and no longer need men. This causes a rift in gender roles and has the “It’s all about me” attitude surface. The reality is that everyone should be empowered but not to the stage of arrogance, not to the level that it takes from what could be an equal and loving union of two. The idiotic notion that no one needs anyone is a bitter persons cry to boost morale, when it only brings one down in the long run (just ask the single bitter older person who let love past them by).

Being a liberated career woman is something a real man wants. Do not believe the words of the bitter that say men are afraid of that. It is the furthest from the truth, they actually yearn that. The men people refer too are just as weak as the women that allow them to step on them. Those people you attract constantly because of something you do. Liberated, strong women will attract a strong independent man and vice versa if other qualities are in order for attraction.

The man of today isn’t doubting his identity, nor is he struggling as suggested by bitter writers abroad, in fact, he is picking up the message that mass media delivers and is only responding to that message. The course of history have always gave us roles as gender and sadly for too many years people have done so without being the individual. Real men are comfortable in a sharing gender role with women, real men are warming and love the idea of having a partner and not a follower. Real men love the recent years of women surfacing stronger in society (although strength always existed). There is not a rift between two loving strong partners. Real men want this more than you know. It is those other men and women in those situations that make the stereotype stand noticeable.

You have the insecure, bitter chauvinistic man who is jealous, aggressive and just a plain asshole. Does he want to share the light with a woman? No, but he is not dubbed a real man. Does the bitter, “men aint worth nothing”, “I don’t need a man” male bashing bitch want to share the light with a man? Of course not, but, she isn’t labeled a real lady either. The reason those types can attract real men/women is because of the message they give off. So of course they will continue to bash the other gender, its because that’s what they know because that’s what they attract.

You may read this and an attitude may form, truth usually does that.

Men also are evolving into today’s day as women have. Men (when I say men, I speak of mature men) are very accepting to the change of societal roles in gender. It may still be fresh (generations of one way and decades of another is fresh) but it has picked up steam and the idea of having a dual income and to share instead of dictate is warming to men abroad. Men do not want you to change your position for him; he is attracted to you as is. Despite the belief shared amongst the bitter and broken hearted, this is what men are looking for:

Men are looking for appreciation and love. Someone must be shaking their head in shock but the fact is too many women are confusing liberated with being cold and this is why men aren’t looking at you for love. Men grow old too and do not wish to grow old alone. Studies show that men like to love and be loved in return.

Men are looking for a woman they can trust. This is very important because men tend to need a woman to be there for there in a sense because often life has given him that from birth until now. Now you may take it how you wish but today’s day, more women are glorifying their cheating and over sexuality (with many partners) and this is a huge turn off for real men. A man will not fully forgive a woman for being unfaithful. However, the scum bucket you are use to engaging with in this world is fine with it but they are the topic of another article. You may think the flirting is harmless or the “cheating” was just a kiss and you were drunk but reverse the role and you are smiling so much. A committed relationship is just that “COMMITTED”.

Men want women who are comfortable with their appearance without putting so much makeup that she looks like a circus clown. Men love to be beside a woman who appears confident and takes pride in her appearance. He isn’t necessarily looking for a Victoria Secret model but sure as hell doesn’t want a slob either.

Men actually want you to have a social life. He doesn’t want to keep you all to himself. He wants to trust you and know that you have friends/family you can enjoy spend away time

with and come home missing him. He doesn’t want to be a part of your every friends/family event; he wants you to never regret being away from the social life you once loved. On the same hand, he wants you to not neglect him for it either. Mature balances turn him on.

Men want you to understand that he needs a social life as well. He will have time for family/friends with and without you. That is very healthy in a relationship and he understands that more than expressed.

Men want a woman he can share a home with. He doesn’t want to open the refrigerator to a division of food, a division of laundry detergent or silly things like that. He wants to feel the union in every way. Now of course there will be different likes, that doesn’t count and is totally acceptable.

Men secretly look for the characteristics of a good mother. Now this isn’t what you think. Some men look for it in a motherly sense to self but that’s not what I’m talking about here. Men actually wonder if you would be a good mother to children and at times that plays a huge role in attraction. The caring qualities, the gentle feminine yet firm role are a huge attraction.

HUMOR, HUMOR, HUMOR. Now this is more important than anyone can imagine. Women that come across as bitter and uptight are turn offs for men. He wants someone he can bring around his friends and know she isn’t a social leper to their silly humor. He loves when friends say “she is one of us” when referring to you. Both genders are swayed by friends in some fashion and the acceptance in humor is something that men want. Men want to unwind and have a laugh and a good time with their partner. He doesn’t want to leave work to go home to feel like he is working again with an uptight bitter person.

Men want a woman that can retain their femininity without being weak. He doesn’t want you farting around friends thinking “they just have to get used to it” because the reality is no one “has” to get used to it. A real man knows he has options and knows he is worth much more than the average slime you have dealt with. The fact is, you want him to “be a man” then you have to “be a lady”.

Men want someone supportive. Instead of criticizing his behavior or dreams, he wants someone trying to understand them or support him towards these goals. You may not share the same individual dream but supporting him on his is important. It isn’t compromising yours in the least but it is merely telling him I’m here for you. Men appreciate the union you both are in and at times would love to lean on you as support. The lack of support can grow from him receiving to showing and it will be the destruction of the relationship.

Men love a woman who keeps him on point. He loves a challenging woman and appreciates her effort to work in the relationship. It makes him work as well. (It’s a win/win).

Men want a woman he can talk to and not are spoken at in return but spoken to. He doesn’t want to debate with his mom but he chooses to hold meaningful conversations with his partner. You are his safe haven when it comes to expressing his inner self; try not to destroy that with cold, uncalculated, ignorant rants or direction. Be the communicator that is warranted to keep this union going. He will appreciate it more than you know.

Sexually men pretty much know what they like and often go that route. However, lead him with your appetite and slowly inject new things. Don’t just fully change the game on him. Men aren’t programmed that way. He will be willing to try most (maybe all) of what you wish if you approach it accordingly. He wants to be more with you in bed, he wants a woman that wants more from him but not in an insulting way. He wants a partner he can grow sexually with.

Over all, men want a woman willing to commit and be trusting with. He doesn’t want to hear about all your past escapades in a braggadocios sense and does not care about what your ex is up to. Be mindful of his feelings before you rant about irrelevancies that can alter his perception of you. He wants a friend and a partner, he wants to be able to have fun with you and not just share bills and a bed with you. He wants to settle down when it’s right and seek respect from their partners.

I know that this will spark big debates and it should. This is a growing society and as gender roles changed so have individuals. Studies continue to be conducted (mainly by women) about what men want and the sad reality is, men are more honest when not able to be recognized in the study by a woman or a man. He can and has favored the answer in accordance to the surveyor and this alters truths. The studies I did and read were all anonymous and none were pressured to lean towards impressing the surveyor as the surveyor never revealed self in gender. The long term bachelor and player exist but not in majority. They are few but this society highlights negativity, I highlight truth. The focus is what men truly want in this day and age, not historically, not when pressured by friends/family but what they truly want from within self for self. Always understand the role YOU play in every situation as often you are not always the victim.

I often get debates when speaking about this topic because many women don’t realize I said “What Men Want” and NOT “What Women Want Men to Want”.

I welcome the debate.

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