Dear Mr. Lover Man,

Here it is, my girlfriend is always upset when I’m on Facebook. She doesn’t see me doing anything wrong but is always upset assuming someone wants me. How can I get her to see that I am just connecting with old friends I haven’t seen in years and that it is not what she thinks? P.S. I do not get upset when she is online at all. Thanks from: A guy punching keys.

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear “A guy punching keys”,
There are some things to consider here, one being the amount of time taken from your relationship being spent on social media. This is something that may cause trouble and is increasingly an issue in today’s relationships. Now what you and your girlfriend determine too much and enough time is something you both should come to terms with. If you are neglecting your girlfriend for social media then you need to re-evaluate that. However, she may be the jealous, insecure type and there are ways to show her that her suspicions are completely wrong. Have you or are you planning to meet any of these old friends? If so, you should plan a bigger gathering for a few of these long lost friends and ask that they bring their partners for a semi night out/reunion type of thing and you bring your girlfriend. This can and usually does ease a lot when not only they see the woman you chose but your woman sees that they have chosen elsewhere as well.
This is not a fool proof remedy but it has worked before. You have to communicate to your girlfriend in an honest and effective manner her position in your world and the position these friends are in. It is nice to re-connect and we all know friendships are important. There should be a compromise on that but you must in all of your best efforts try to understand how your girlfriend feels and she should be considerate to your feelings as well. Good luck and keep me posted.

Dear Mr. Lover Man,

My boyfriend and I clearly both have trust issues because of our past. We both admitted that we’ve been cheated on and have very hurtful ex relationships but we’re committed to each other, until I made a small mistake. A hiccup I want to call it. My ex boyfriend requested me on Facebook. Stupid me, I accepted it on a whim but took all but 5 minutes to realize what I did wasn’t right. I unfriended him right away. But in that 5 minutes, it popped up on my boyfriends news feed just as he was browsing the site during his lunch break. He mentioned it to me the weekend it happened and we spoke of it briefly. 2 weeks later, a night together felt distant with him and when we started to talk about it, he mentioned that the incident has been on his mind ever since. Basically, he told me he trusted me before, but now that this happened, he said we should slow down and take it day by day. I told him I would never go back to my ex or communicate with him because I am very happy with my current boyfriend. I got so emotional to a point where I opened up a lot, cried then continued to tell him that not only was I cheated on, my ex got another woman pregnant and he used me for money and car rides. My boyfriend became emotional as well and cried. 3 days later, I feel distant from him but I’m told by friends I need to give him space. I’m scared to lose him and I’m scared it will be because of something as small as Facebook. I’m going through millions of thoughts and I’m just so confused. Give him space or keep telling him how much I care about him? Help! Anonymous

MR. LOVER MAN SAYS: Dear Anonymous,
This situation is not a complete disaster. There has to be steps taken, things will not solve itself overnight and you have to be an effective communicator. I don’t think space is required unless it is something he is adamant about. It is important that you express how you feel without constantly running your story about your ex to the ground. Men really don’t want to hear that when you guys are going through things. Sometimes women think by bad mouthing or talking up the bad things of the ex, that it will somehow ease the situation but it doesn’t. Men view it as you not being able to let go. This situation is not usually a deal breaker and if you guys are really involved, I believe you can work through this. Be honest and determined to expressed your feelings for your man as opposed to your disdain for your ex, it isn’t related and shouldn’t be brought up together.
He has insecurities and trust issues and no matter what he said about him trusting you, it isn’t met by action. You guys need to really talk about where you stand and how badly this has dented his perception. The world of social media at times can be intrusive if allowed and can be harmless in the same light. Good luck.

FOLLOW: @MRLOVERMAN925
FOLLOW: @ELM_MAGAZINE